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Let's start out by saying, I'm not a writer. I did not go to school for journalism, nor did I even take any extra writing classes. What you see here is what I learned in your basic high school English classes. I actually majored in Music Business, which did nothing to equip me for writing a blog. I'm a stay at home mom of one 18 month old little boy and he is my world. I am not, nor have I ever been one of those people who reads all of the books, or goes to conferences, or keeps up with the latest parenting trends. I am, however, your normal, young, learn-as-you-go mother who delights in the challenges and can look at life as a collection of moments (often entertaining moments) that create an unpredictable, unforgettable, and unmatchable journey. As I stated in my first post, the glorious struggles, embarrassing moments, joyous successes, and stressful days of being a mom are felt by every single mother, perfect or not, so let’s share, laugh, learn, scream, smile, and cry together.
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Friday, November 11, 2011

11.11.11 @ 11:11 - EPIC WISH


I do a lot of work with teenagers, and I have heard many of them say that today is the day to make the most epic wish of your life… 11/11/11 at 11:11. So here it is, my epic wish:

I wish that my son would stop having separation anxiety issues! Yes, I’m going to waste the most epic wish of my life on this because it would be worth it should it come true!  Carter had never had any issues with me leaving him with others until a few weeks ago. He had spent time in the church nursery, had baby sitters, we had even left town for 2-3 nights at a time without him and he was totally fine. It’s like the screaming child monster flipped a switch in my happy little boy.

To clarify, Little Dude didn’t all of a sudden become an angry baby, as long as he can see me he’s perfectly happy! Handy, right? He plays, laughs, watches TV… he’s perfectly content until I walk out of the room.  I’ve heard moms say to just let them cry it out… fail. One night I ran out of options and just left only to come back an hour later to him STILL screaming and standing by the door!!! Poor babysitter!!!

Everything I read says to just allow it, that it’s a phase that they will get through. I know it is. I know he’s not going to be 12 and scream when I leave (unless it’s a celebration), but that doesn’t make now any easier. 

I also read to leave him with familiar people. That works! He is totally fine staying with grandparents! Yay? No… one set is an hour away and the other is 5 hours away, so though it works, it’s not very practical most of the time.

I know it will pass. Most of the time I can let myself relish in the fact that he has such a strong bond to me, which I love. Soon I’ll be the one crying when he leaves, but in the mean time… any other advice? Or even just a hint at what age he might outgrow this?

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6 comments:

  1. nikkiNovember 11, 2011 at 10:33 AM

    I think it only lasts for a few months MAX. But having had 3 kids, I can tell you that you should not go by the book. Every child is different and if it doesn't feel right to you to let him cry it out, then don't. You are the one who has to be happy with your decisions and I know God has put within us, as mothers, the knowledge to do what is best for our child, which isn't always what the book will suggest.

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  2. DelphinaNovember 11, 2011 at 10:49 AM

    I had this problem with Hunter,who is now 6 years old, every morning he went to the same babysitter with the same kids everything was routine except he would cry if I just walked out the door sooo I would wait until he found something that distracted him and I would sneak out as fast and as quietly as possible. Sometimes he would cry when he realized I left and other times he wouldnt even notice. It does pass so be patient mean while enjoy the fact he wants you because soon he wont care if you leave with a sitter. I'm also going through this right now with my 13 month old. Hang in there!

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  3. JessicaNovember 11, 2011 at 11:52 AM

    I hope your wish comes true! What a difficult situation for both of you. I am still trying to get up the courage to leave my little one in the gym/church childcare for the first time. Happy 11/11/11!

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  4. BeckyNovember 11, 2011 at 1:35 PM

    What I found was neither of my kids or my sisters kids seemed to do any phase the same way. Every child is different, it usually passes relatively quickly and then they go onto to the next thing. All you can do is make adjustments as you go, he feels safe with you and knows that Mom makes everything happen. Just wait til he doesn't even want to be with Ben and it's only you all the time :-) I guess that's not very encouraging. All of these phases feel like a lifetime but will be over before you know it.

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  5. Lady Goo Goo GagaNovember 12, 2011 at 8:27 PM

    I remember when this was a huge problem in my life and it was over in a flash....I barely remember it now...it will be over soon!

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  6. AmyNovember 13, 2011 at 5:36 PM

    Thankfully it doesn't sound like he was this way until recently so that probably means that it is just a phase. Depending on how naturally outgoing he is it could pass soon or it might drag out for a while. Our younger son is very anxious by nature. He does okay with sitters, but unless they are constantly distracting him he is crying. We rarely leave him with a sitter, because by the end of the experience both he and the babysitter are exhausted and ready to cry. I feel your pain. It is not easy to have a child attached to you all your waking hours with no reprieve.
    BTW--I'm following and subscribing back from Feed Me Friday. Thanks so much for joining us! Hope you can come again next week.

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